Sorry I had to write again..

I really do not understand why am I so scared..
I do not like this sinking feeling and I feel so... Words cannot describe how I feel at the moment.
It's like my world is changing and I'm getting left behind and thrown away.
I am so upset that it's not even funny.
I will literally burst into tears if I can but sadly I don't cry. EVER!

I am confused.
I am messed up.
I do not know what I want.
I feel lonely, lost.
I feel like everything I ever knew is so distant.
So out of reach.

I do not like change. Hate it. Despise it.
I DO NOT adapt well to it. AT ALL.
It makes me anxious.
It makes me irritated.
It makes me scared.
It makes me insecure.
It makes me feel strange about myself when my best friend changes.
It gets worse when she changes into someone I dont even know anymore.

I feel like the world's greatest fool.
I'm not sure why.
I feel dumb.
I would like to punch something so hard.
I would like someone to tell me some things will never change.

Don't toss me into a strange land
Where the buildings and places are as familiar as a pair of old jeans
While the people I once knew are once again strangers
against my will

I looked around with fearful eyes
Nothing was familiar,
Nothing was the same
I would hide in my corner
And pretend it was a all dream

No, I do not fear changes
But I fear the things that changes bring about
I do not know if I would lose
Or gain
I have nothing much left
As I have nothing to start off with
I do not wish to lose
For it is painful
And my heart could not take the pain any longer