Tumblr Musings #11

Not all toxic people are cruel and uncaring. Some of them love us dearly. Many of them have good intentions. Most are toxic to our being simply because their needs and way of existing in the world force us to compromise ourselves and our happiness. They aren’t inherently bad people, but they aren’t the right people for us. And as hard as it is, we have to let them go. Life is hard enough without being around people who bring you down, and as much as you care, you can’t destroy yourself for the sake of someone else. You have to make your wellbeing a priority. Whether that means breaking up with someone you care about, loving a family member from a distance, letting go of a friend, or removing yourself from a situation that feels painful — you have every right to leave and create a safer space for yourself.

- Daniell Koepke

Tumblr says these are cute questions.

1. Who was the last person you held hands with? My little brother
2. Are you outgoing or shy? outgoing
3. Who are you looking forward to seeing?My family, my friends from home
4. Are you easy to get along with? usually, yes.
5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you? Yes
6. What kind of people are you attracted to? People who are able to hold a conversation
7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now? I don't know if I am now
8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind? Harry
9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? Depends on who I'm talking about it with
10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? Francine
11. What does the most recent text that you sent say? Awesome, I just woke up and I have absolutely nothing to do LOL
12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now? "The Other Side", "Neon Lights", "Enjoy The Ride", "That's what you get", "Stay The Night". 
13. Do you like it when people play with your hair? Usually I don't mind
14. Do you believe in luck and miracles? Not exactly
15. What good thing happened this summer? We don't have seasons, it's always summer here
16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? yeah, definitely
17. Do you think there is life on other planets? Not really
18. Do you still talk to your first crush? Nay
19. Do you like bubble baths? I can't say that I remember what it feels like but I think I do
20. Do you like your neighbors? Yeah, they are nice people.
21. What are your bad habits? I often forget to brush my teeth before going to sleep
22. Where would you like to travel? New York
23. Do you have trust issues? I'm cautious so I guess
24. Favorite part of your daily routine? Definitely eating
25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with? Tummy
26. What do you do when you wake up? Go back to sleep
27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker? Lighter
28. Who are you most comfortable around? Francine
29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up? It was mutual
30. Do you ever want to get married? Yes
31. If your hair long enough for a pony tail? Yup
32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with? Demi Lovato and Josh Hitcherson
33. Spell your name with your chin. My last name is Chin HAHAHAHAHA 5rt0yewhjaq (Tryphena)
34. Do you play sports? What sports? If Muay Thai is a sport LOL
35. Would you rather live without TV or music? TV
36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them? Yeah
37. What do you say during awkward silences? So, what are you doing later?
38. Describe your dream girl/guy? Him.
39. What are your favorite stores to shop in? Cotton On
40. What do you want to do after high school? Script writer, writer, I'll be in THAT industry
41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? Not everyone though
42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean? Tired or sad
43. Do you smile at strangers? Yes
44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean? Bottom of the ocean
45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning? "Oh shit, I am late".
46. What are you paranoid about? People leaving me, or rather losing people
47. Have you ever been high? Not exactly
48. Have you ever been drunk? Yes
49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about? I don't exactly have secrets
50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore? Red
51. Ever wished you were someone else? Not now
52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself? my tummy
53. Favourite makeup brand? Maybeline
54. Favourite store? Converse
55. Favourite blog?  Don't really have one
56. Favourite colour? Blue and purple
57. Favourite food? Chicken
58. Last thing you ate? Double Spicy Chicken McDeluxe
59. First thing you ate this morning? Cheezles
60. Ever won a competition? For what? Yes, essay writing competition
61. Been suspended/expelled? For what? Nay
62. Been arrested? For what? Nay
63. Ever been in love? I guess
64. Tell us the story of your first kiss? It was wet and it scared me. I would take it back.
65. Are you hungry right now? I'm good
66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends? No
67. Facebook or Twitter? Neither
68. Twitter or Tumblr? Tumblr
69. Are you watching tv right now? No
70. Names of your bestfriends? Francine
71. Craving something? What? Nothing
72. What colour are your towels? Blue
72. How many pillows do you sleep with? Three
73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? Yup
74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have? I have a lot but only like three matter
75. Favourite animal? Wolves
76. What colour is your underwear? Black
77. Chocolate or Vanilla? Vanilla
78. Favourite ice cream flavour? It's rather a mood thing
79. What colour shirt are you wearing? grey
80. What colour pants? Black
81. Favourite tv show? atm, Pretty Little Liars and Glee
82. Favourite movie? mostly independant films
83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2? Mean Girls
84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street? Mean Girls
85. Favourite character from Mean Girls? Karen
86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo? Dory
87. First person you talked to today? The security guard outside my dorm
88. Last person you talked to today? My housemaster
89. Name a person you hate? I don't hate anyone
90. Name a person you love? Harry
91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now? Everyone
92. In a fight with someone? Nope
93. How many sweatpants do you have? tbh, I have no idea what those are
94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have? Two
95. Last movie you watched? hairspray
96. Favourite actress? Now, Jennifer Lawrence
97. Favourite actor? Josh Hutcherson
98. Do you tan a lot? Nay
99. Have any pets? A dog
100. How are you feeling? Quite at the moment
101. Do you type fast?  Quite
102. Do you regret anything from your past? A number of things actually
103. Can you spell well? I'm okay, not great but okay.
104. Do you miss anyone from your past? Not exactly
105. Ever been to a bonfire party? Nope
106. Ever broken someone’s heart? I don't know
107. Have you ever been on a horse? Yes
108. What should you be doing? Cleaning my room
109. Is something irritating you right now? not exactly
110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt? yes
111. Do you have trust issues? Maybe
112. Who was the last person you cried in front of? Wow, that was a long time ago. I think Natalie
113. What was your childhood nickname? Ribena
114. Have you ever been out of your province/state? Yup
115. Do you play the Wii? I've played.
116. Are you listening to music right now? Yes
117. Do you like chicken noodle soup? I do
118. Do you like Chinese food? I do
119. Favourite book? Perls of being a wallflower
120. Are you afraid of the dark? Not exactly
121. Are you mean? I can be
122. Is cheating ever okay? Never
123. Can you keep white shoes clean? I can
124. Do you believe in love at first sight? I do but I don't..?
125. Do you believe in true love? Yes
126. Are you currently bored?  Nope
127. What makes you happy?  A lot of things, being at home is one
128. Would you change your name?  Nope
129. What your zodiac sign? Taurus
130. Do you like subway? I used to
131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? HAH, never happened
132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? Francine
133. Favourite lyrics right now? In the beginning, I never thought it would be you
134. Can you count to one million? Can you?
135. Dumbest lie you ever told? "Trust me I'm okay with it."
136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed? Closed
137. How tall are you? 5'5
138. Curly or Straight hair? Wavy
139. Brunette or Blonde? Brunette
140. Summer or Winter? Summer
141. Night or Day? night
142. Favourite month? May
143. Are you a vegetarian? Nope
144. Dark, milk or white chocolate? White
145. Tea or Coffee? Tea
146. Was today a good day? It was okay
147. Mars or Snickers? Mars
148. What’s your favourite quote? Just because people don't love the same way you do, doesn't mean they don't love you.
149. Do you believe in ghosts? Yeah
150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page? "What is important here is to know that every sentence need.."

tumblr musings #10

Sometimes you meet someone, and it’s so clear that the two of you, on some level belong together. As lovers, or as friends, or as family, or as something entirely different. You just work, whether you understand one another or you’re in love or you’re partners in crime. You meet these people throughout your life, out of nowhere, under the strangest circumstances, and they help you feel alive. I don’t know if that makes me believe in coincidence, or fate, or sheer blind luck, but it definitely makes me believe in something.

tumblr musings #7

“I am nothing. I’m like someone who’s been thrown into the ocean at night, floating all alone. I reach out, but no one is there. I call out, but no one answers. I have no connection to anything.”

tumblr musings #6: friendships

“I no longer have the energy for meaningless friendships, forced interactions or unnecessary conversations. If we don’t vibrate on the same frequency there’s just no reason for us to waste our time. I’d rather have no one and wait for substance than to not feel someone and fake the funk.”

Greater than.

“who taught you 

that the 

value of a woman

is the ratio

of her waist 

to her hips

and the circumference

of her buttocks

and the volume 

of her lips?

Your math 

is

dangerously wrong.

Her value 

is 

nothing less

than

infinite.”

- 'Greater than' by Della Hicks-Wilson

Educate yourself to be happy.

“Do not educate yourself to be rich, educate yourself to be happy. That way when you get older you’ll know the value of things, not the price. In the end, you will come to realize that the best days are the days when you don’t need anything extreme or special to happen to make you smile. You simply appreciate the moments and feel gratitude, seeking nothing else, nothing more.”

tumblr musings #2

“And that's the thing about people who mean everything they say. They think everyone else does too.”

Small things I love #1: Honesty

“I love unmade beds. I love when people are drunk and crying and cannot be anything but honest in that moment. I love the look in people’s eyes when they realize they’re in love. I love the way people look when they first wake up and they’ve forgotten their surroundings. I love the gasp people take when their favorite character dies. I love when people close their eyes and drift to somewhere in the clouds. I fall in love with people and their honest moments all the time. I fall in love with their breakdowns and their smeared makeup and their daydreams. Honesty is just too beautiful to ever put into words.”

Never again.

getting there now

slowly

getting there

"Stay with me 'cause that's what I need, please."

This is one of those days where I just want to sit and cry and do nothing else.

My current song on replay: My heart (acoustic) - Paramore

I shall write later but I'm tired from everything.

I'll destroy myself so no one else can.

Angels on earth

And I started crying after reading this.

I know exactly who this person is in my life :)

"You're beautiful. Please stop."

I found this on Facebook. It helps and even though I've never heard people say this to me, it still means the world to see that people like Peter exist.

To die would be an awfully big adventure.

- Peter Pan

Just because this songs helps me breathe.

\ 

Where was I when the rockets came to life and carried you away into the alligator sky?

It's like I'm 15 again.

Hawthorne Heights - Rescue Me

Just breathe
The midnight air will do you well
Believe...
I miss your taste, I miss your smell
The past mistakes that brought you here 
Will break the fall for you, my dear
I'll ask the nurse for bandages
Don't send me on my way

Rescue me 
from everything, I 
just want to live, I 
wish I could breathe

Every other day
I sit and wait for same the bad news
Can you hear me say
"I've got nothing left to lose"
Someone please start making sense
And beg the lord for accidents
I've seen the worst case scenario
I'm slowly letting go
Rescue me 
from everything, I 
just want to live, I 
wish I could breathe
[x3]

Rescue me
from everything, I
just want to live, I
wish I could breathe (wish I could breathe)

Rescue me (rescue me)
from everything (everything), I
just want to live, I
wish I could breathe (wish I could breathe)

Rescue me (rescue me)
from everything (from everything), I
just want to live, I
wish I could breathe

whatever it takes

We accept the love we think we deserve

Sam: Why do I, and everyone I love pick people who treat us like we're nothing?

Charlie: We accept the love we think we deserve.

- Perks of Being a Wallflower

Fell.

I fell for your thoughts,
the way that you said my name,
how you make speechless

I ache to be inside your mind,
hear the whisper of every though,
get lost in your deepest desires

I want you lying down next to me
caressing the soft curves of my face
running your fingers down my back

I fell for you
I ache for you
I want you