Confused

The floor is like literally disappearing..
The world is dissolving into nothing because nothing makes sense anymore.
I thought I knew things but apparently everything changed so I know nothing now.
I knew her but I don't think I know anymore.
She says stuff that I know will not be said if it was to me.
So many things I knew, turns into something else.

I thought she listened last time.
But thinking back, I was doing all the listening and everything I told her seem to always go back to her.
When is it about me? I dont remember at all.
She never asked how I was doing.
I was always the one telling her stuff about my life.

She was never excited about anything I tell her.
Stuff that other people said makes her laugh?
What? How is it fair? To me?
Does she even value our friendship?
Or am I the one holding onto something that is likely to drift away?

One thing sucks is that
I never learn after all the mistakes I've made with friendships.
I always end up picking myself up and watching the other going the other way,
Mend because of me
When am I going to learn how to live alone and NOT make friends?
That way, I won't get hurt.
Fuck this shit.