Another chapter in life

I got my A level results yesterday and I passed everything!!
You know how some people want to get all A's and they try so hard for it? Yeah, congratulations to them, Most of them get straights A's.
But I'm cool with passes :)
I don't wish to be a doctor, a dentist, professionals or that sort.
Pfft, that is why we have scholars for.
I'm not a scholar or like a brilliant brilliant student.
I just want to live and do something useful with my life.
Sure, saving lives like what doctors do is important but it's just not how I want to live.
Francine said something about making a difference in people's lives.
Yeah, I wanna do something like that,
That's why Oprah Winfrey is like my hero.

She also proved another point to me,
You can do great things even without a guy by your side.
I know most girls have that fantasy of the perfect dress, the perfect guy, the perfect wedding.
You know, it's weird because I never really had that fantasy.
Okay, fine, I can explain.
When I was younger, I hate dresses so no, I can't see myself in a dress then.
Guys, well, I am not the kind with looks that stop traffic.
They say I have personality but then it's all about the looks.
You don't have that, good luck in life.
So yeah, we are friends and there's always no more to it.
I think it's a good thing because I learn how to differentiate from douche bags to idiots
'cause I don't get infatuated enough to be that blind.
Weddings.
When I was younger, it seems like something you would  only see on a show,
the perfect endings I mean.
As we grow older, we see the real stuff going on.
Cheating. Fighting. Abuse. Divorce.
It seemed to me that everything are just made up of empty promises.

Well, that is just my opinion for now.
After all, I'm only 19 and I'm just at the starting line of life.
I don't wish to be tied to this one person when it's time to explore.
I just want to be a girl, at least for a little while.
Long enough for me to know what I want out of this short life.

Oh well, enough ranting.
Back to uni stuff.
Ciao!

Try 

Anxiety.

You don't feel like eating.
You feel like vomiting even when there's nothing in your stomach.
Your head hurts.
You don't feel like doing anything.
Your body is shaking.
You feel like you can't breathe.
You can't sleep or rest.
You can't relax.
Your heart beats like super fast and slow at the same time, like it's even possible.
Your head spins and it throbs.
You can't feel your brain because it's not working.

\

You're just scared, I guess.

Francine is my froggie :3

Soooooo,

It's 3.05am as I'm typing this. I can't sleep and I'm craving for fried chicken. Yes, people. Insomnia makes you want stuff. Heh.

I have been doing my Chemistry past year papers and I'm starting to get the hang of it. You see, I'm not usually the type of person to actually study and DO past year questions but now I don't really have a choice. Idon't want to fail. No, I can't do that to my parents, can't to that to myself either. I guess I'm just beginning to prove to everyone and mostly myself that I can do something when I really work for it.

It's a new thing for me. I usually give up when I don't understand something. But this time, I refuse to quit even when my first instinct was to run away. I'm not sure why but I think I like it. It's nice trying to work for something for a change.

I'm still not sure why I'm doing science but God has something up his sleeve. Afterall, nothing even happens for no reason. I swear my brainis dying right now.

I can never be thankful and grateful enough for God and the people I have in my life right now. They are the reason why I wake up in the morning and the reason for me to smile. Yes, the girl whose name is currently my blog post's title is one of them. I really should give God the credit for whatever he is doing in my life.

Dear God,

I am really sleepy and apparently I can't sleep. Anyway, thank you for everything and everyone that you have put into my life. I am happy with whatever you are planning but it'd be nice to leave like that for just a bit, if you please.

I used to say life is a bitch but to tell you the truth, it's better now. I will not complain about the hardships and the emotional struggles that I've been through, even though I do wish that it had not happened. They've made me stronger and made me the person I am today despite the shell cracks and battle scars that were left behind, as trophies, lessons and reminders.

Nevertheless, I still thank you, for doing whatever that you did because I'm still here, breathing and living.

Love, Tryphena.

I think I will try to sleep now.
Goodnight.

P/S 5 more days till AS Exams.