it has come to a point when someone asks me if I'm okay, I just.. don't know. I don't know whether to say yes or no. Yes, I'm okay because I really don't know how to explain why. No, I'm not because I really want someone to care, even if I keep pushing people away. I just want you to stay but I don't know how to say it. Asking for company or "help" seems.. weak. Even if they are willing to help, I don't see any reason for any of them to stay, at least I don't think I am worth enough for them to stay. I know I am just pushing them away but right now, I will not let anyone stay long enough for them to be someone that I am afraid to lose.

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There it goes again. That heavy feeling in your chest when you don’t feel any desire to speak or move. All you want to do is close your eyes and sleep, because the process of being broken is incredibly exhausting. You attempt your best to make your days fulfilling, but no matter how hard you try, you can’t seem to connect to anyone or anything.