I am trying my best, my very best to drown the voices in my head. I am playing music so loud that I feel my brain bouncing in my head. I have never felt this absent in so long.
This is another new level of self loathing. Last night, I've hated myself so much that I fell asleep thinking of not waking up. They say comparing yourself with other is not a good thing but it is, to help you realize what you have. What I realize is that I am nothing. And I am just hating myself for so much more reasons than I had 5 years ago.
The voices in my head just agreed. I am just a waste of space. I am absolutely nothing.
And I am,
this close
to giving it
all up.
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