It will not be like this.

It's the New Year's.

I don't feel any different. I suppose it's just another day.

Right now, I don't feel joy or sadness or anything. I only feel pain and more pain. I wish I can sleep and not wake up.

I wish.. How I wish.. But it will never be real, only an illusion, a fantasy.

I feel pain, only pain and nothing else. I am numb.

I don't feel anything else, except the pain that tearing me apart.

How I wish I can drink till I die on the sidewalk but I can't because I would still feel pain even in my sleep.

How I wish to bleed until I succumb to the fading light in front to me. The only way, the only way that I can't feel.