I worry less now but I'm not sure what's my point (:

I used to worry. Not saying that I don't worry now but I worry a lot less.

Today, we were trying to tiptoe pass that sea of filthy water. You went first, like a pro. I was the genius. I tried to step on the spaces that had not been polluted by the water.

I ended up standing on one leg like a pelican and nearly fell. If I did fall, I would be landing on the dirty water, of course. Luckily, I hung on to the "tiang". So, yay, I stayed clean.

You laughed at me, calling me an epic fail. I'm not sure why but it felt like old times and I am reminded that I miss it a lot.

You were sitting down already. I sat down leaning on the "tiang", right in front of you. It feel exactly like old times. We didn't say much but the silence felt so comfortable. Like I've said, just like old times where there was only you and I.

I know I told you before that I was scared. I told you everything. I told you I'm okay with it now.

I was told that I needed to grieve for this because it is somehow a loss for me. I'm not saying that it's a bad thing but it is something I have to deal with. I know you promised that you won't leave but sometimes that fear that one day you might leave can consume me and make me feel empty.

I'm not lying when I say I'm okay with everything. I am okay. I just didn't tell you how much I had to go through to be okay. Knowing that I am not your priority any longer gets to me sometimes, you know. You are still my number 1. Even if a guy comes along, you will always be number 1.

I don't ask for much. We both know and have discussed that understanding something doesn't take away the feelings that we feel. So, I just ask that you won't hate me if I want a little attention from you sometimes.

I know things change. Hell, everything is changing every second. Don't hate me for missing you because time is no longer flexible for us, we don't get to hang as much and we have less time in school already.

I like the old times. It was easy, now is still easy but it's harder in a different sense.

So, please stay kay? You're one of the best things that has ever happened to me. And I can't lose you. To anything or anyone.