Miley Cyrus' Wrecking Ball REVEW

Message to Miley because this is my blog and I can write what I want: 

"Hi Miley, there's no chance of you ever reading this but I like the song. I understand it and your nudity in it is sorta weird, I guess but I like the closeup scenes. You made it very personal and I get it because I'm experiencing something similar, I guess."

I'm not sure why but I feel like I HAD to defend Miley Cyrus in this music video.

Of course, people would bash her about the nudity and the sledgehammer-licking in the video. 

I, myself, was shocked too when it first came out, like I've watched her in Hannah Montana and then so on. 

Then, I watched the video again. 

They say that the eyes are the windows to someone's thoughts or heart or emotions or some shit like that.

I just ruined it. Yeah.

but did you notice how the emotions in her eyes change with every single line of the first verse?

I mean, during the scene where it was a close-up of her face,

do you NOT see the pain in her eyes?

That part where she sings

"don't you ever say I just walked away,

I will always love you."

I feel her. I understand what she's trying to tell me.

She is in pain.

I am not favoring her or anything but 

I have seen people break down.

I have seen what pain looks like

when it's hidden in their eyes.

And if it's someone that you care about and they just look at you,

with those eyes,

you wouldn't say that it's an excuse?

I have seen it,

I have personally felt it, especially that part where I just quoted above.

It is the worst feeling that anyone can ever feel.

Yes, she cut her hair!

Yes, she is not wearing a lot of clothes!

Yes, she licked a hammer!

Yes, she is naked.

FUCKING DEAL WITH IT OR JUST STOP WATCHING OR SHARING THE VIDEO!

People have ways of dealing with pain.

Don't say that "I won't do that!"

Of course, you fucking won't, you fucker!

You are not in the fucking spotlight where everyone is looking at you and your Liam Hemsworth,

WAITING, FUCKING WAITING to take your wedding picture on to the front of a magazine!

Marrying someone is a big deal because it affects the rest of your life.

If she says she's going through a hard time with the breakup,

FUCKING LEAVE HER ALONE!

You're not the one who has to be reminded of it because you walked past a magazine stand.

Just because she is in the spotlight 

and we have a perceived idea of her

doesn't mean that we get to be judgmental bitches. 

If she says that this is the real her,

then deal with it because we have no say in this.

She is obviously going through something in her life and this is her way of dealing with it.

If it doesn't affect YOUR life, stop bashing her and destroying her. 

It doesn't help you neither will it help her.

"I love you, with all that I have and everything else that I am", he whispered in her ear. "I love you."

She broke down, crying. He hugged her tightly as if she will slip away; Carefully, as if she will break. You can tell he loves her because he's looking at her like she's his whole world. He asked why because he would do anything to stop her from hurting.

"because I didn't think it was possible for somebody, for anybody to love me," she choked between sobs.

Vulnerability #1

He was so close to me. I could slowly feel his body warmth as he inched closer to lie next to me. I felt his gaze on me, it's like he was watching me. I didn't want to open my eyes. I mean, I refused to. When I did, all I could do was to just stare at the ceiling while wishing that my mind was as blank as the ceilings were.

This moment is perfect, it's so perfect that it couldn't be real. It couldn't. I was so scared and all I could do was just tremble.What if..? What if I open my eyes and it's only a dream? What if I wake up? What if I do love him and it's just me, again? What if, just what it?

I felt him bury his face in my hair and I can hear him inhale. He wrapped his arms around me to pull me closer and I let him. His right thumb stroked my arm slowly and tenderly. I felt goosebumps on my arms and all I wanted to do was to just lie there forever, in his arms. I took every ounce of strength that I had to not break down. I was terrified and there was nothing that I can do.

Tired, physically.

This is just an update. If you ask me why am I updating, it's because dumb ass, it's my blog and I can do whatever I want.

I am tired. My head hurts. My left foot is swollen and the throbbing feeling does not help, at all.

It has been a day full of happenings, there was stress in the radio club due to issues. I was busy, we had things to figure out. I cooked dinner for myself and ate on the floor of my room in silence.

It was not the typical day. Well, it was but it was just busy.

Yknow what's the good thing about today and the days before?

My mind is quiet.

When I wake up recently, I don't have to beg myself to not die. Nothing hurts like it always did. It's a very calming thing for me because for the last few weeks, I've been waking up with the feeling of walls caving on me. And I literally begged myself to breathe and breathe and breathe until the voices in my head stopped.

Then again, they never stop, they just become a hum in the background when I'm distracted or busy. They come back when I don't realize it or I didn't have my walls high enough.

You'd ask what voices. It's not like someone is talking to you. For me, it's a repetition of some specific song lyric or a thought or thoughts. It just plays on loop for as long as it wants to until I fall completely into its trap and I just.. die.

Anyway, I shall have a snack and sleep.

Like I've said, too tired and I should treasure this silence in my head as much as I can because I don't know when the voices will be back.

tumblr musings #4

“If you can love someone with your whole heart, even one person, then there’s salvation in life. Even if you can’t get together with that person.”

tumblr musings #3

“Before I die, I want to be somebody’s favorite hiding place, the place they can put everything they know they need to survive, every secret, every solitude, every nervous prayer, and be absolutely certain I will keep it safe. I will keep it safe.”

\ because you were mine.

tumblr musings #2

“And that's the thing about people who mean everything they say. They think everyone else does too.”

Another quiz

Have you ever slept in the same bed with anyone on your top friends?

plenty LOL

Does it annoy you when people play dumb?

absolutely, I see no sense in that

Did you sing at all today?

don't stress, don't cry, we don't need no wings to flyyyyyyy

Are you happier now than you were 4 months ago?

I guess, it's about the same? But I am definitely a little better

Your brother tells you he's in jail, what do you say?

Why?

Looking back, did you ever think you would be where you’re at in life now?

Never :)

Are you crushing on someone right now?

..yeahhhhh

What color is your underwear?

purple

Do you know someone who you can be your complete self around?

Yes, I am very lucky to have them x

Is there anyone you want to come see you?

Don't we all?

Why did you take the last pill you took?

I guess I was sick?  

Your bestfriend needs you at 3 am, do you go help them?

Happened already. Yes, in a heartbeat

Can you go a day without music?

I can but it's not deliberately

Does the last person you kissed still like you?

My baby brother loves me very much 

Think of your last two kisses, were they with the same person?

Yeahh, my little brother

Will you be single over winter?

No winter here, I don't have to answer this

Has someone ever made a promise and broke it?

People do that very often.

What was for dinner tonight?

Chicken and soup and noodles

Who was the last male you talked to in person?

Isaac Ho, new friend :)

How has the week been?

Long. Kinda boring but it was cool. Slow too.

Who was the last person you talked on the phone with?

My mum

Were you happy when you woke up?

No, I remember thinking, don't die, breathe, don't die.

Closest red thing to you?

My mouse

Do you have a headache?

No

Do you want to go to sleep right now?

No, too early

The last person you kissed tells you they love you, you say?

I love you too.

What are your plans for the weekend?

Muay Thai, movie, chill at home

Are you one of those people who just don't care?

I do care about a lot but just not in general. So, yeah, I guess.  

Do you have to sleep with a television on?

No

Do you own a digital camera?

Saving up for one now

Do you break things when you are mad?

I.. do something else

What was the first thing you thought about when you woke up?

Breathe, don't die.

Do you remember who you liked on New Years?

Harry, and no, I loved him

Are you someone who worries too often?

I don't worry but I care.

Could things possibly get any better?

They can but I don't know if they will

How did you get your last bruise?

I don't really get bruises

What time will you be getting up tomorrow morning?

9?

Slept in someone else's bed in the past week?

Francine's LOL

Are you hiding something from someone?

We are all hiding something

Are you typically a jealous person?

No, but yeah, it happens

What were you doing at 8:00 this morning?

Asleep

How are you?

I'm okay, getting by

Last time you talked to your number one?

yesterday

Is something bothering you?

There is always something

What are you planning to do tomorrow?

Muay Thai, movie..

Do you miss someone right now?

I miss a few

Are you wearing a necklace?

Nay

Will this weekend be a good one?

i hope so

If something was wrong, who is the first girl/guy you would go to?

Francine

Do you drink lots of water?

Not really

Have you ever tried your hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end?

Yes, we all do

Who is your number one on myspace?

Don't have myspace

How are you feeling currently?

Amused

Survivor

RULES:

1. Put your iTunes, Windows Media Player, etc. on shuffle.

2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.

3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS.

4. Have Fun!

if someone says 'are you okay', you say?

Outrageous (LOL, I would)

how would you describe yourself?

The Ballad of Mona Lisa (Shall I compare me to Mona Lisa?)

what do you like in a guy/girl?

Goin' In (LOLOLOLOLOLOL OMG)

how do you feel today?

Rescue me (yeahh..)

what is your life's purpose?

One Fine WIre

what's your motto?

Brick by Boring brick (Fuck yeahh)

what do your friends think of you?

Diamonds aren't forever

what do your parents think of you?

Thunder (LOLOLOLOL what does this mean)

what do you think about very often?

Unbreakable

what is 2 + 2?

Till I forget about you

what do you think of your best friend?

She will be loved (BY MEEEEEE)

what is your life story?

Sick (true HAHAHAHAHAHA)

what do you want to be when you grow up?

Understanding

what do you think when you see the person you like?

All that I'm living for (Wow... so dramatic)

what will you dance to at your wedding?

Apologize (HAHAHAHAHAHAH sorry, husband, I'm going to make you miserable for the rest of your life) 

what will they play at your funeral?

Shut Up and Drive (ahahahahahha)

what is your hobby/interest?

Unfaithful (I AM NOT)

what is your biggest fear?

Even in death

what is your biggest secret?

Teenagers (This doesn't make sense)

what do you want right now?

Where will you go (..what?)

what do you think of your friends?

Butterfly wings (LOLOLOLOLOL)

what will you post this as?

Survivor

Depression

I can't give you a simpler explanation
than this.

You smile
laugh
talk
communicate
flawlessly
just like you would have.
You're fine
even though
you know it's there, lingering.

When you get home,
when you're alone,
you just fall apart
and die.