Day 2 of 30 challenge: Who/what can’t you live without? Explain.

Mine is more of a who instead of a what. I mean, things are replaceable, people are not.

1. My family

 I honestly don't know where I will be without them.

My dad reminds me that life is not easy and you have to really work to be and make something of yourself. My dad used to be a pastor and yeah, we had a really hard life. It sucked to be looked down at, to be rejected by your peers and basically to not fit it. I sucked so bad. I used to blame my dad for being a pastor. At some times, I still do but again, I won't take anything back.

I am happy that everything I went through made me a stronger person. I became opinionated, strong-willed, insightful, sympathizing and very very determined in many ways. I love my dad, he is the most hardworking person that I have ever met in my life. My dad is the ultimate definition of survival. I love him.

My mum made me believe that I have a say in things, like my opinion matters, even though she didn't really ask when I was younger. My mum is the definition of tenacity. She fights, she shot across whatever life threw at her like a rocket that was launched towards space. She took everything head on.

My mum is one of the strongest women I have ever met. She used to care about what people think because she had to. When she was given a chance to not give a shit, she really did not give a shit. It was amazing to see it but it kinda killed me to see people being mean to her. It was a thing at her workplace, another long story. My mum loves my brothers and I. She would kill anyone who hurt us. I can see that and I wished I saw it sooner.

My brothers: Aaron and Joshua.

Aaron, he turned 18 just 10 days ago. He is my best friend and he's lame. He knows what I like and what I hate. I know him also. I know how he is. I know almost everything about him. I know his habits and his tactics when it comes to annoying me. He is very sensitive, he tends to not want to bother people unnecessarily. He stands his ground but compromises when he needs to. We used to fight A LOT. Now we're very close. When I was younger, I used to wish that he would die. Now I regret it, heh. I was such a horrible sister to him. I regret everything.

He loves me, no, he doesn't say it. Our family is not the type that announces "I LOVE YOU", we show it. For example, he would call me if I wasn't back home by 1am. When I asked why, he said that he's afraid that I was in trouble and couldn't call. I love him, I would do anything for him. I am teaching what is right and wrong slowly because he won't listen to my parents. At least though, he listens to me. My proudest moment as his sister is when his best friend asked me questions about him and I could answer every single one like a reflex.

Joshua, he is just a bowl of sunshine and laughter mixed together with very very mature and sharp senses. he is 8 and being in a family where everyone is literally above 18, makes him literally the baby. He is very independent and linguistic for his age. He talks like an adult and I secretly think that he is an old soul. He is very lame, he got that from his older brother. He is the only expressive one in the family because he was given the opportunity to. He loves me and he shows it. He counts down to the day that I come home from university.

It's a different relationship with him when compared to the older one because this is a kid. I watched him grow up, instead of growing up with him. He is a sensitive boy and might come off as a pushover because he doesn't like conflicts and tends to just compromise. I will teach him to stand his ground and not be a pushover. I will teach him how to treat girls and how to love. I will teach him everything that I have learn in the last 20 years of my life. I will teach him to appreciate the art of language and words. I will teach him that life is a masterpiece waiting to happen, even in times of pain and troubles.

2. My best friend, Francine.
She is surprisingly the only one who is ever honest with me. She is the only who picked up whenever I called at times that I was breaking down. She is the one that I can sit in silence with and it's not awkward. I can talk to her about anything. She showed me what friends are really for and what it mean to be a friend to someone. She showed me how to laugh, how to smile, how to look for the little things in life, how to be strong and how to keep going. She gave me strength. I doubt her sometimes because my mind is never in the right state for anything, hence, the cutting. Even when I doubt her, I still had the faith and the hope to trust her and to believe in her, it IS something because usually I just push people away.

She is the first person that I can have proper conversations about sex with. She makes me laugh, she understands my lame sense of humor. She gets me and it's amazing to have that. I love how I smile when I'm around her. I love how I am me when I am with her. She's a stupid motherfucker and I mean it in the most loving way. She is like a sister that I never had. She is like level 1 if I ever get a boyfriend. She will be the first person I talk to if there is anything major happening in my life. She is part of my everything. I love her, I know she will never read this so she doesn't know how much I am really grateful to have ever met her and how much I love her. Like, I will kill anyone that hurts her. I can write an autobiography about her like I would my family, but I won't. Not now.