I don't know if you've ever felt like this. That you want to sleep for a thousand years. Or just not exist. Or just not be aware that you exist.
And just like every other human being, I crave love, except I was not beautiful like them. I was repulsive, ugly.
In this world, looks are everything.
Because at the end of the day, all we care about is looks, right? No one falls in love with your personality.
It hurts because it mattered.
I care about your feelings more than mine.
The truth is you can just kill me and with one last breath, I'd apologize for bleeding on your shirt.
Anger will help you survive but it eats you alive after a while.
You didn't love me, because you don't destroy the person that you love.
How do you do that? Act like you don't care, like you don't feel anything? Because I can't do that. I feel. I feel everything.
The distraction helped. But when I got home, and the distractions were gone, self hatred would hit me all over again. I'd lose perspective.
And the hardest part about living is just taking breaths to stay.
The pain doesn't go away. You just make room for it.
but it doesn't matter, no one's listening.
No comments:
Post a Comment