Something to hold on to each day.

You, make me smile,
Even when every part of me is falling apart.
You, keep me going,
Even when every part of me is screaming fragile.
Being with you guys,
I forgot about myself,
At least my attention is diverted somewhere else.
I'd give anything for this,
To have myself distracted from this pain
Which never seems to cease or even end.

I know I might be bad at expressing anything.
But thank you for your concerns though.
It meant a lot than you think it did.
Thank you for showing that you guys care.
I really don't know what to say.

How am I suppose to tell you guys what's wrong when
I'm not sure what's wrong with me?
All of these, yes I do have a hunch
But hunches can never be answers.
I'm sorry I acted angry,
I guess that's the emotion that keeps me going.
I'm sorry for snapping,
I guess that was how I protected myself.
Thank you for being there.
Now I'm trying to convince myself that
You guys are not going anywhere.

This is all new to me, I guess.
Having friends that actually stay
And having people who like me the way I am.
I am forever grateful for this
Don't ask me about this pain that I am always feeling.
It has always been there,
Yes, it gets worse most of the time.
But I'm coping with it, in my own way.
Seeing you guys everyday,
At least I am able to breathe for a while
Before being suffocated again.

I may be not able to tell you guys what is wrong
But at least when you read this,
It may give you a glimpse of what might be wrong.
If you guys can figure out what's wrong,
That'd be nice for me because
I have no idea.

I guess this doesn't show in my face at all but
I am forever thankful to call you two my best friends.
I owe my mental being to you guys.
Thank you for giving me something to look forward to each day.
Thank you for making me smile.
Thank you for giving me a reason to stay alive.

Love you two forever.
xx