The aftermath of you're done feeling wanted.

I forgot how numbed pain makes you feel like
you're imploding on yourself.
The feeling is equivalent to an Eiffel Tower of cards,
collapsing in a few seconds
after hours and hours of hard work.
You get cold to your bones,
you grow weary as the day drags on and
you want to sleep, dream, sleep, hoping
you wouldn't wake up.

I tried vocalize how I felt.
Then, I realize no amount of effort could properly explain
that I just want to be held until I stop becoming a black hole.
I cannot expect the ones who claim to love me to
listen to a rant that does not have a conclusion.
They have lives, money to earn, bellies to fill -
lives, to live.
What makes me think that I have anything important enough
that takes priority over all those?
How selfish am I to ask them to listen to me over this?

However,
I forgot how deafening silence can be especially when you hear it
over the sound of yourself collapsing inside.
I forgot how pain silently hums all over your body in the midst of silence.
The sky is still the sky even when you're in pain,
somehow I'm still pretending not to be surprised by it.