I sense my anxiety levels slowly rising. The red light in my head says “DANGER! CAUTION!” and the green light says “Run!”. I am afraid of the past repeating but running will not help me see that it belongs in the past. 

She’s smiling and she’s happy. I am happy for her because I know she would be happy for me too. She was smiling so big, it's nice to see this side of people. It is oddly comforting. Despite everything before, I know this time it will be different 

because I won't let the past make me fear 

because 

because  

because when the red light in my head flashed, I didn't run.