Miley Cyrus' Wrecking Ball REVEW

Message to Miley because this is my blog and I can write what I want: 

"Hi Miley, there's no chance of you ever reading this but I like the song. I understand it and your nudity in it is sorta weird, I guess but I like the closeup scenes. You made it very personal and I get it because I'm experiencing something similar, I guess."

I'm not sure why but I feel like I HAD to defend Miley Cyrus in this music video.

Of course, people would bash her about the nudity and the sledgehammer-licking in the video. 

I, myself, was shocked too when it first came out, like I've watched her in Hannah Montana and then so on. 

Then, I watched the video again. 

They say that the eyes are the windows to someone's thoughts or heart or emotions or some shit like that.

I just ruined it. Yeah.

but did you notice how the emotions in her eyes change with every single line of the first verse?

I mean, during the scene where it was a close-up of her face,

do you NOT see the pain in her eyes?

That part where she sings

"don't you ever say I just walked away,

I will always love you."

I feel her. I understand what she's trying to tell me.

She is in pain.

I am not favoring her or anything but 

I have seen people break down.

I have seen what pain looks like

when it's hidden in their eyes.

And if it's someone that you care about and they just look at you,

with those eyes,

you wouldn't say that it's an excuse?

I have seen it,

I have personally felt it, especially that part where I just quoted above.

It is the worst feeling that anyone can ever feel.

Yes, she cut her hair!

Yes, she is not wearing a lot of clothes!

Yes, she licked a hammer!

Yes, she is naked.

FUCKING DEAL WITH IT OR JUST STOP WATCHING OR SHARING THE VIDEO!

People have ways of dealing with pain.

Don't say that "I won't do that!"

Of course, you fucking won't, you fucker!

You are not in the fucking spotlight where everyone is looking at you and your Liam Hemsworth,

WAITING, FUCKING WAITING to take your wedding picture on to the front of a magazine!

Marrying someone is a big deal because it affects the rest of your life.

If she says she's going through a hard time with the breakup,

FUCKING LEAVE HER ALONE!

You're not the one who has to be reminded of it because you walked past a magazine stand.

Just because she is in the spotlight 

and we have a perceived idea of her

doesn't mean that we get to be judgmental bitches. 

If she says that this is the real her,

then deal with it because we have no say in this.

She is obviously going through something in her life and this is her way of dealing with it.

If it doesn't affect YOUR life, stop bashing her and destroying her. 

It doesn't help you neither will it help her.

"I love you, with all that I have and everything else that I am", he whispered in her ear. "I love you."

She broke down, crying. He hugged her tightly as if she will slip away; Carefully, as if she will break. You can tell he loves her because he's looking at her like she's his whole world. He asked why because he would do anything to stop her from hurting.

"because I didn't think it was possible for somebody, for anybody to love me," she choked between sobs.

Vulnerability #1

He was so close to me. I could slowly feel his body warmth as he inched closer to lie next to me. I felt his gaze on me, it's like he was watching me. I didn't want to open my eyes. I mean, I refused to. When I did, all I could do was to just stare at the ceiling while wishing that my mind was as blank as the ceilings were.

This moment is perfect, it's so perfect that it couldn't be real. It couldn't. I was so scared and all I could do was just tremble.What if..? What if I open my eyes and it's only a dream? What if I wake up? What if I do love him and it's just me, again? What if, just what it?

I felt him bury his face in my hair and I can hear him inhale. He wrapped his arms around me to pull me closer and I let him. His right thumb stroked my arm slowly and tenderly. I felt goosebumps on my arms and all I wanted to do was to just lie there forever, in his arms. I took every ounce of strength that I had to not break down. I was terrified and there was nothing that I can do.

Tired, physically.

This is just an update. If you ask me why am I updating, it's because dumb ass, it's my blog and I can do whatever I want.

I am tired. My head hurts. My left foot is swollen and the throbbing feeling does not help, at all.

It has been a day full of happenings, there was stress in the radio club due to issues. I was busy, we had things to figure out. I cooked dinner for myself and ate on the floor of my room in silence.

It was not the typical day. Well, it was but it was just busy.

Yknow what's the good thing about today and the days before?

My mind is quiet.

When I wake up recently, I don't have to beg myself to not die. Nothing hurts like it always did. It's a very calming thing for me because for the last few weeks, I've been waking up with the feeling of walls caving on me. And I literally begged myself to breathe and breathe and breathe until the voices in my head stopped.

Then again, they never stop, they just become a hum in the background when I'm distracted or busy. They come back when I don't realize it or I didn't have my walls high enough.

You'd ask what voices. It's not like someone is talking to you. For me, it's a repetition of some specific song lyric or a thought or thoughts. It just plays on loop for as long as it wants to until I fall completely into its trap and I just.. die.

Anyway, I shall have a snack and sleep.

Like I've said, too tired and I should treasure this silence in my head as much as I can because I don't know when the voices will be back.

tumblr musings #4

“If you can love someone with your whole heart, even one person, then there’s salvation in life. Even if you can’t get together with that person.”

tumblr musings #3

“Before I die, I want to be somebody’s favorite hiding place, the place they can put everything they know they need to survive, every secret, every solitude, every nervous prayer, and be absolutely certain I will keep it safe. I will keep it safe.”

\ because you were mine.

tumblr musings #2

“And that's the thing about people who mean everything they say. They think everyone else does too.”