You know how we confuse reality with what we THINK reality is sometimes? And it took like what? A best friend, a parent, a text message, a phone call or even a stranger to remind and reassure us that most of what we think it is, is all in our heads.
I used to have that kind of reawakening. Like I've said, used to. Now I can't differentiate between what is supposedly real and what is suppose to be from my head.
Sometimes I feel like I can't even believe what I see or what I hear. My brain is constantly telling me how I feel and how I THINK the other person is feeling. And it's never really anything good when that happens. My brain second guessed everything that everybody said and now I don't even dare to believe myself.
It's harder for me to believe that people actually have good intentions. I tried my best to ignore it but it's like I'm forced to give in to myself because ALL the evidence says otherwise.
I wanna run and run and run so that nothing else can hurt or leave me. I won't have to cry or hurt. I'll just have to protect myself and that's all.
Right now, my only escape is the pain that I can inflict on myself and get back a little bit of that sanity that I have left somewhere inside of me. Reminding me that I am breathing and the pain and relief I am feeling at that moment is something real called reality.
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