Bee Gees, amirite?

I realize I've spent a lot of time missing people.
I don't do anything about it.
Not because I don't want to,
A lot of times I would have almost made up my mind
and then, I remember that I couldn't afford to.
It was a bitter moment
because I was limited and there was nothing I could do.
So I settled,
Settled with just missing them.
Maybe that's why I remember the small moments, the small things.
My brain was getting all these information ready
for a rainy day, which was almost everyday.

The things I remember are odd:
the twinkle in my best friend's eye
the way lips felt
the deep sighs that my little brother could make
the way my family harmonizes at the dinner table
cold beer on lonely nights
cigarettes in a loud club
warm hands in mine when my insides felt like pitch black
sharp pain on the insides of wrists

I think I've spent a lot of time missing sensations
In these sensations, there were heights of emotions.
In these emotions, there was a fight to staying alive.
I think I miss being alive.