Saturday, July 26, 2014

A good dream about you.

I dreamt of you last night.
You had bangs again and your hair was shorter just like when we first met.
Things were already different in the dream, 
it was like an exact replica of reality but
the only difference is that we're talking in my dream.

You asked me if I want to go crab fishing with you.
I very very happily agreed to. 
The time was set as present time, present day.
Again, the only difference is that 
we're at the same place at the same time,

You still smelled the same, the odd combination of perfume and cigarettes.
Your hair still did that same thing where it danced in the wind.
I still remember how you always grabbed your hair when it fell into your eyes,
then you'd crinkle your eyes as it tickles your nose.
We recalled another inside joke and
you laughed.
I can still remember it being so loud, vibrant and 
I was so aware that it was a dream that I didn't want to blink.
I was afraid if I opened my eyes again, this dream was over. 
My eyes dilated so much due to the lack of blinking,
I was trying to memorize everything that was happening
because I knew it wasn't real, it wasn't real.

When I woke up, I was in tears. 
I painfully pulled myself away from the remaining memories of the dream
just like how you try to pick glass pieces from your skin. 
You can't really get all of the shards, so you just take your time.
I spent all morning, trying to forget you again.
The process of this became more of a habit but it doesn't make it hurt less.
Now I am stuck with the best parts of the dream and I don't know how to forget it. 
I hear your laughter ring in my ear, I hear your voice, god, I'd still drop everything for you.

You know what's the worse part?
The worse part is that I am sitting here, writing about you,
just like I did over the last 2 years. 
I thought I will never write about you ever again
but here I am, sitting in front of my blog,
writing an article, a blog post, a poem, about you,
Another bad thing that comes with this is that
I will spend the entire day missing you.

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