One of the bad days.

It's a long time since I've updated my blog. I feel weird if I don't update it. It's like I'm talking to myself but it's not?

I don't really do much now. All I want to do is just to curl up on my bed and sleep, or at least pretend to be asleep. My wrist hurts when I move it. Apparently, that wasn't enough to take the pain away.

I ended up on my bed, hidden well under my covers.

Almost every night for one week, I bled red, hoping that it would numb the pain for at least one night. One night of no dreams. Just deep sleep.

Nothing worked. I still dream of nothing but you. No one else but you.

I remember waking up in pain, in tears. I curled up tighter in my ball of blankets, as if hoping that the blankets would just come alive and swallow me whole.

Close your eyes before you hit the taxi.

It scares me how peaceful it felt even for that millisecond.

It's like you're free.

I want this feeling and I'm trying to get it without resorting to this.