April's first weeks are just not good to me

 She told me that she doesn't know if she still loves me. 

I don't know what else I can do to have people be sure of me. I feel defeated. I'm not sobbing my heart out but I just kind of sit here and listen to Paravi's version of Cloud 9 because that was the song that made me think of her a lot and it made me happy. 

I'm just heartbroken. 

It's different to feel heartbreak at 28 than at 22. It's a lot more heavier at 28. Less loud, less pleading, less begging, less bargaining. I just sort of put the broken part down, sit next to it and mourn. I mean what else can I do except to cry and kiss it good bye. 

Now I can't listen to the song without hearing my own heart break.

I really tried.