Crazy.

I don't know what's going on in my head. I have been feeling so much rage. I feel like I might explode. If it's not rage, I want to die. The smallest things make me explode. I am in between the scale of not caring and caring. When I care, I am aware of how mad I get when things don't go accordingly.

The problem is, I have noticed that I have been losing my temper more and more over the weeks. This is evident with my relationship. I yell and shout. Now that I am level-headed, I am so scared of what I might be capable of when I am in the middle of a rage because I have seen what I can do in my head. Given that situation, I really really do not care if I killed them. The phrase "killed someone in a rage" is true. I am scared.

Something is wrong with me. I knew that before but right now, something is seriously wrong with me. When I get mad now, I fly into a rage almost always. This hasn't happened before. Yes, I become unreasonable but I was never anywhere close to this kind of rage. The worst part is that my logical part says "Look, this is a reasonable situation, there's no need to be mad" but the emotional part doesn't listen to it. I just get angrier and angrier. I feel it grow inside of me but I have no control over it.

I feel scared because I don't know what is going on with me. I feel scared because I don't want to end up hurting someone I love.