Day 4 of 30 Day Poem Challenge: Write a haiku. They’re often about nature, but yours can be about anything.

Cuckoo cuckoo,
Seasons passed like books flipping fast
He never called me back.

Cuckoo, cuckoo,
it sounds like come back come back
I'd do anything please

Cuckoo cuckoo
He never came back for me
I would still wait for him.

Day 3 of 30 Day Poem Challenge: Find the nearest book (of any kind). Turn to page 8. Use the first ten full words on the page in a poem. You may use them in any order, anywhere in the poem.

Are you still here? I'm afraid you already left.
Some days I miss you more, even when you are there
Mornings are the worst, especially after I have dreams of you.
I can still feel your warmth as if you never left, your cologne still lingers on my clothes.
Can you stay any longer, I asked, then you smiled,
Tell me you love me, you whispered.
He's leaving,
Rushing to live a life where he's free from everyone, including me
me, I can't let him stay if he doesn't want to. Instead,
Off you go, I said, my mistake was not telling him that I loved him.

Day 2 of 30 Day Poem Challenge: Who was the last person you texted? Write a five line poem to that person.

Abigail Harris.

You are one of the most responsible person that I've ever met.
I don't know you well but we get along,
I think it's loving of you to stay with your family when they need you.
We don't see a lot of that, especially in youths and young adults.
I hope we remain friends, really, I think we would.

Day 1 of 30 Day Poem Challenge: Write a poem where each line starts with a letter from your first name.

Trying to walk across my room, nope, just walked into the fan.
Right in the middle of the room, not sure how it got there.
You must know, I am not a neat person
Probably because I don't like moving from my bed a lot.
Heaven knows that I'll never leave my bed
Even if, I am hungry or I need to pee
Never mind, at least I didn't fall, crack my head open and die
And that will most likely be my last words, if I were to die young.

30 Day Poetry Challege

I have a knack for poetry. At least I feel like I don't over explain things with poetry. So, I'll be doing this instead of the previous challenge. This shall be fun, I am genuinely excited about this.

I think I am discontinuing the 30 day challenge post thing. The questions doesn't appeal to me anymore, that's why it took that long.

Love letters.

I'm sorry I can't write you a love letter.
No, I don't mean "those" letters.
You know, the ones that involve words like,
You and I, forever, house, children, mortgages,
and occasionally, your parents suck.
Love letters, the type I meant were
the ones where you tell them about a place that you went to
because they love the color red.
Then, you'd tell them about the person that you met recently
and how this person's laugh is similar to theirs.
Letters where profanities and insults were the language of endearment,
and I think, it will probably end with,
"Dude, text me. Why are you writing?"
Letters like these are never long,
sometimes they are a beautifully sculpted essay, using words such as,
flamboyant, combust, dynamic, serendipity.
Sometimes they are a random string of words, like
pizza, hippopotamus, Herbie, smelly, you.
Another thing about these letters is that
it made sense either way because it was written to you,
only you,
with love.

I can't write love letters anymore.
The last person I wrote to stopped talking to me,
and now, I am writing this to you
after deleting 290 photos of me and her at 3 in the morning.
I am not a person who is good with speech, or affection
or love, or relationships.
The only thing that allows me to properly explain the things that I feel
is a pen and paper.
Therefore, love letters, they are a manifestation of everything that I am afraid to say and
even everything that I refuse to say.
When I write to you,
no other thoughts but you will occupy my mind.
You will be my sole muse, my inspiration until the very last word
which is where I sign "Love, Tryphena"
I would use words to paint you like a picture, in hopes that
you would understand how I see you as a human being.
I have a knack for seeing things about people that are not noticed by many,
I'll tell you how you always keep your arms close to your body,
like somehow, you are trying to make yourself smaller or to preserve body heat.
I'll tell you how you always smile differently in pictures, especially the ones taken with me.
I'll tell you that people love you and you shouldn't be with someone who doesn't.
I'll tell you how you always change the topic to something else when it's a question that you didn't want to answer.
Then, to make things worse,
I'll tell you how different I am when I am with you.
I'll give you examples, references, citations, everything to show
how your existence is so important to me.
I'll tell you that you're the last thing on my mind when I go to sleep.
I'll tell you that I am comfortable with you, even when we're both in decade-old PJs.
I'll tell you that I check your "last seen" on whatsapp when I couldn't sleep.
I'll tell you that I never stopped loving you.

If I write you a love letter,
I am giving you my heart, my self-esteem, my self-worth on a silver platter.
If I write you a love letter,
you are given the ability to crush me into a million pieces in the time span that ranges from one millisecond,
to three years,
or more, your choice.
If I write you a love letter,
I am exposing myself to you in a way
that I later will suffer maximum damage from
if you ever plan on killing me.
If I write you a love letter,
I won't be able to take any of it back if you chose to leave,
and I will be left here with all the words that I ever wrote to you,
stuck in the back of my throat.

In spite of this,
if I write you a love letter,
you should know that I must really really love you.

Her, proving me wrong, as always.

Once in a while, you come across a picture that render you speechless and all you want to do is stare and marvel. Then, you realize that it is entirely possible to fall in love with a picture. It also helps if you know the person in the picture. Pictures capture expressions and highlights certain features of someone that you don't see normally. Up until now, all I can do is gawk at this picture.

The first thought that came across my mind is "Oh, wow, she looks gorgeous." And then, I couldn't stop staring. Since she's looking directly at the camera, it made me feel awkward and I had to look away. I debated with myself because it's a picture and I can stare all I want. I still can't because.. simply because.

Her eyes captured my attention. She is one of my best friends. She has been for the last 10 years or so. I love her completely and unconditionally. Thing is she looks absolutely amazing in photographs and pictures. It is in random times like these where you really really see person clearly and what you see just throws you off because you get blown away. It's like you're seeing them for the very first time.

I have lots of moments where I know that I couldn't love this girl more than I already do. It's always random, like the way she smiles or the way her eyes are when she smiles. I don't get to see her as often as I would want to because I'm away for my studies. When I do see her, she would literally be bae (before anyone else). She reminds me to hope and to love. On top of that, she is literally the only person where I don't shun from when she is being affectionate. That's something I realize only tonight. For example, she would want to hold my hand and I would let her. For those who know me, I would shake it off. If it's her, I wouldn't mind, or at least I don't shake it off.

I thought I literally wouldn't be able to love her more than I already do but she proves me wrong, every single time.

Ugh, too much feels. Again, I obviously don't know how to love or deal with affection. As my mum said, I don't react well to any form of affection or let anyone love me, which means I don't love a lot of people. Gonna stop now before I bring up falling in love with people and life.

Bye.

All I can say when I look at the picture is still "Omg..".

Moments.

I crave the nights where it's just me and a bottle, or in some cases, bottles. I love how the bitterness of beer silenced the loud voices in my head, shocking me into the moment of then. I love how the cold surface of beer bottles cause water droplets to condense. My fingers will trace the patterns etched on the glass bottle and I will feel the temperature difference between the cold glass and the warm breeze. Sometimes I'd wipe the bottles dry, sometimes I'd just let them be. It'd be bottle after bottle after bottle, a private competition with myself. How many till my brain gives out?

I crave the nights where I am able to breathe out the pain along with cigarette smoke. There is something calming about having a cigarette between my left forefinger and middle finger. I'd be able to feel the heat emitting from the lit cigarette bud. I'd flick off the burnt ends of the bud, exposing the still-burning tobacco insides. I would just sit there and watch it burn sometimes. There is some comfort in the smell of cigarette smoke when I am down. Watching the cigarette turn into ash and watching the smoke disintegrating into the air instilled a kind of serenity in me.  It's a familiar sense of pain and a comfortable kind of numbness.

I crave the nights where it's quiet. Quiet, in a sense where it's peaceful, silent, simply quiet. The only sounds in that moment are either cars speeding past or the wind. I'd usually be leaning on the wall or hunched down by the steps on the sidewalk. I'd do nothing else but breathe. It is only in times like these that I let my desperation to survive take over. I would inhale long drags of cigarettes, chug down half a bottle of beer to fill up the void that I feel somewhere to the left side of my chest. I would feel the complete weight of my depression. However, I know that I wouldn't want company. All I would want to do is to close my eyes and exhale.

In moments like these, I would feel completely and utterly alone. But then again, I would be lying if I said that I didn't want to feel like that.

So much questions

• 1) Sexuality? Is fluid.
• 2) If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? Demi Lovato
• 3) Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17. There is literally no books nearby..
• 4) What do you think about most? It's different everyday but most thoughts end up going back to her leaving. Yeah, so her leaving is one of the things that I think about the most, still.
• 5) What does your latest text message from someone else say? My school dean telling me to hand in my medical certificate.
• 6) Do you sleep with or without clothes on? With
• 7) What's your strangest talent? To love someone without asking to be loved back
• 8) Girls.... (finish the sentence); Boys.... (finish the sentence). Girls are just a plain breathless "wow" sometimes. Boys, they can surprise you when you least expect it.
• 9) Ever had a poem or song written about you? I don't think so.
• 10) When is the last time you played the air guitar? Just now.
• 11) Do you have any strange phobias? Heights, dying and people leaving.
• 12) Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose? Nope
• 13) What's your religion? Christianity 
• 14) If you are outside, what are you most likely doing? Enjoying the rain.
• 15) Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? I am comfortable in front and being behind.
• 16) Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band? Paramore
• 17) What was the last lie you told? No, I was just kidding.
• 18) Do you believe in karma? Yes, very much so
• 19) What does your URL mean? I really don't like pickles
• 20) What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength? Weakness: Loving someone because I will give them everything willingly and not care what happens to me. Strength: I am very VERY independant.
• 21) Who is your celebrity crush? Demi Lovato
• 22) Have you ever gone skinny dipping? Nope
• 23) How do you vent your anger? Muay Thai, I write and I cut.
• 24) Do you have a collection of anything? Poems, books and cds
• 25) Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online? Both works for me.
• 26) Are you happy with the person you've become? Quite happy actually.
• 27) What's a sound you hate; sound you love? I hate how the word "goodbye" sounds. I love the sound of waves hitting the shore and raindrops on the roofs
• 28) What's your biggest "what if"? What if you belonged to me and vice versa?
• 29) Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens? Yes and no.
• 30) Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm. My mum's pants and a pillow
• 31) Smell the air. What do you smell? Nothing specific.
• 32) What's the worst place you have ever been to? The hospital.
• 33) Choose East Coast or West Coast? I am from the east so the east.
• 34) Most attractive singer of your opposite gender? Adam Lambert
• 35) To you, what is the meaning of life? To live it to the fullest and to experience everything that you can.
• 36) Define Art. Art is an expression of who you are, what you feel and what you want to say.
• 37) Do you believe in luck? Not exactly
• 38) What's the weather like right now? It's raining now
• 39) What time is it? 9:06pm
• 40) Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed? Yes and yes
• 41) What was the last book you read? The Last Song by Nicholas Sparks
• 42) Do you like the smell of gasoline? It's a meh smell for me.
• 43) Do you have any nicknames? Yeah, Try.
• 44) What was the last movie you saw? Maleficent 
• 45) What's the worst injury you've ever had? I scrapped my elbow
• 46) Have you ever caught a butterfly? Nope
• 47) Do you have any obsessions right now? Umm, Orange Is the New Black and Pretty Little Liars
• 48) What's your sexual orientation? I am honestly very confused about it.
• 49) Ever had a rumor spread about you? Yeah
• 50) Do you believe in magic? Depends on what kind you are talking about
• 51) Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong? Yes
• 52) What is your astrological sign? Taurus
• 53) Do you save money or spend it? Depends but I usually save it
• 54) What's the last thing you purchased? A toothbrush
• 55) Love or lust? For now, lust
• 56) In a relationship? nOpe
• 57) How many relationships have you had? 1
• 58) Can you touch your nose with your tongue? No
• 59) Where were you yesterday? At home
• 60) Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you? The pillow on my left
• 61) Are you wearing socks right now? I just took them off
• 62) What's your favorite animal? Dog
• 63) What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you? Be nice to them
• 64) Where is your best friend? I don't think I have one
• 65) Spit or swallow?(; Umm, pass
• 66) What is your heritage? I don't know
• 67) What were you doing last night at 12 AM? I think I was on instagram
• 68) What do you think is Satan's last name? The Shithead
• 69) Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off? Ha.
• 70) Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend? Yeah, I guess? 
• 71) You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do? apologise to the dog and walk away but I'll feel bad for a while.
• 72) You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid? Yes but only to those that I want to spend my last month with. Yes, I will be quite afraid.
• 73) You can only have one of these things; trust or love. Trust
• 74) What's a song that always makes you happy when you hear it? Alive by Krewella
• 75) What are the last four digits in your cell phone number? 9339
• 76) In your opinion, what makes a great relationship? Honesty and trust
• 77) How can I win your heart? Be you
• 78) Can insanity bring on more creativity? Yes, I believe it will
• 79) What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far? To stop associating myself with her 
• 80) What size shoes do you wear? 8
• 81) What would you want to be written on your tombstone? She tried her best to love
• 82) What is your favorite word? Lovely
• 83) Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart. It was a sigh that came out. 
• 84) What is a saying you say a lot? It's okay that you are like this.
• 85) What's the last song you listened to? Piece of me by Britney Spears
• 86) Basic question; what's your favorite color/colors? Blue and purple
• 87) What is your current desktop picture? Hayley Williams
• 88) If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be? Debating if I should even consider that person.
• 89) What would be a question you'd be afraid to tell the truth on? Are you gay?
• 90) One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren't really doing anything, they're just standing around your bed. What do you do? I would freak out definitely because I do have a fear of them but I would just go back to sleep.
• 91) You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what's even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power? To move things with my mind
• 92) You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again? My first kiss with that person
• 93) You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be? All of 2012
• 94) You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be? Demi Lovato, yes, huge girl crush there
• 95) You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go? United States
• 96) Do you have any relatives in jail? No
• 97) Have you ever thrown up in the car? Yes
• 98) Ever been on a plane? Loads of times
• 99) If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say? Always be the person that your future children would be proud to talk about