A good dream about you.

I dreamt of you last night.

You had bangs again and your hair was shorter just like when we first met.

Things were already different in the dream, 

it was like an exact replica of reality but

the only difference is that we're talking in my dream.

You asked me if I want to go crab fishing with you.

I very very happily agreed to. 

The time was set as present time, present day.

Again, the only difference is that 

we're at the same place at the same time,

You still smelled the same, the odd combination of perfume and cigarettes.

Your hair still did that same thing where it danced in the wind.

I still remember how you always grabbed your hair when it fell into your eyes,

then you'd crinkle your eyes as it tickles your nose.

We recalled another inside joke and

you laughed.

I can still remember it being so loud, vibrant and 

I was so aware that it was a dream that I didn't want to blink.

I was afraid if I opened my eyes again, this dream was over. 

My eyes dilated so much due to the lack of blinking,

I was trying to memorize everything that was happening

because I knew it wasn't real, it wasn't real.

When I woke up, I was in tears. 

I painfully pulled myself away from the remaining memories of the dream

just like how you try to pick glass pieces from your skin. 

You can't really get all of the shards, so you just take your time.

I spent all morning, trying to forget you again.

The process of this became more of a habit but it doesn't make it hurt less.

Now I am stuck with the best parts of the dream and I don't know how to forget it. 

I hear your laughter ring in my ear, I hear your voice, god, I'd still drop everything for you.

You know what's the worse part?

The worse part is that I am sitting here, writing about you,

just like I did over the last 2 years. 

I thought I will never write about you ever again

but here I am, sitting in front of my blog,

writing an article, a blog post, a poem, about you,

Another bad thing that comes with this is that

I will spend the entire day missing you.

Real Talk Questions from Tumblr

• 1. What is more difficult for you, looking into someones eyes when you are telling someone how you feel, or looking into someones eyes when they are telling you how they feel?
• Looking into someone's eyes while I tell them how I feel

• 2. Think of the last time you were REALLY angry. WHY were you angry? Do you still feel the same way?
• I remember how someone just dropped me on my ass and expect me to be okay "because things have changed", according to her. Yes, I still do and it keeps me awake at night.
• 3. You are on a flight from Honolulu to Chicago non-stop. There is a fire in the back of the plane. You have enough time to make ONE phone call. Who do you call? What do you tell them?
• My mum, I'll tell her I love her and my family. I'll also tell her that her and dad did a great job raising us kids and they are the best in the world. 
• 4. You are at the doctor’s office and he has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? What do you do with your remaining days? Would you be afraid?
• I'll only tell those that I want to spend my last month with. I'll eat, take as many pictures as I can, make home videos, bungee jump, be a daredevil. Yes, I admit that I'll be so afraid but it's inevitable so I'll make sure I'll regret nothing when I die.
• 5. You can have one of the following two things. Which do you choose? Why? Love and Trust.
• For argument's sake, I won't say that trust will cultivate love. I will choose trust because trust, in my experience, is developed and strengthen over time. I understand that it is the same with love but you don't get blinded when you trust. To trust is to have confidence in something or someone. Trust is given to those who have proven themselves worthy of it, instead of  having it being given to you in the beginning. It's more concrete and logical than love.
• 6. You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late even once more, you are fired. Do you take the time to save the dogs life? Why or Why not?
• No, as much as a dog's life is valuable, I don't think I can afford my job. This differs though, but I assume that I am not at home and I am on my own when this happens. So, no.
• 7. Would you rather be hurt by the one you trust the most or the one you love the most?

The one that I love.

• 8. Your best friend confesses that he/she has feelings for you more than just friendship. He/she is falling in love with you. What do you (or did you) do/say?
• The first time it happened, I ended up dating him. The second time it happened, I told her that nothing can happen because she had a boyfriend.
• 9. Think of the last person who you know that died. You have the chance to give them 1 hour of life back, but you have to give up one year of yours. Do you do it? Why or Why not?
• No, because I don't know them that well. Plus, they had cancer so it wouldn't make a big difference. It's not like we could postpone his death if he was given another hour. It would just be another hour of waiting for his family.
• 10. Are you the kind of friend that you would want to have as a friend?
• Yeah, I seem like a cool person.
• 11. Does love = sex?
• No.
• 12.Your boss tells your coworker that they have to let them go because of work shortage, and they are the newest employee. You have been there much longer. Your coworker has a family to support and no other means of income. Do you go to your boss and offer to leave the company? Why or Why not?
• Depends on the situation but if the situation is the same as I describe above, then no. I need to take care of myself, I have no one in this city.
• 13.When was the last time you told someone HONESTLY how you felt regardless of how difficult it was for you to say? Who was it? What did you have to tell the person?
• It was a few months ago, at least the one where I remembered. It was with a group of friends and we were all mostly acquaintances. However, we somehow decided to have questions thrown out and all of us will take a turn in answering it. They were deep questions, what do you regret, what do you fear, what were your scariest moments in life. It was a very non-judgmental feel to everything and everyone was genuine so everything just came spilling out. They listened which was something I didn't expect. It was  relief because people rarely listen nowadays and sometimes that all you want from someone.
• 14. What would be (or what was) harder for you to tell a member of the opposite/same sex, you love them or that you do not love them back?
• Personally, to say "I love you" to anyone would be harder than " I don't love you."
• 15. What do you think would be the hardest thing for you to give up? Why would it be hard to lose?
• My family because they are the reason why I am able to be where I am right now. I would never trade them for anything in the world
• 16. Excluding romantic love, when was the last time you told someone you loved them. Who were they to you?
• Last night, he is my little brother.
• 17. If there was one moment and one time in the last month what would you change and why?
• I don't remember, it has been a pretty good month for me.
• 18. Would you give a homeless person CPR if they were dying? Why or Why not?
• Yeah, it's a life.
• 19.You are holding onto your grandmother’s hand and the hand of a newborn that you do not know as they hang over the edge of a cliff. You have to let one go to save the other. Who do you let fall to their death? What was your rationale for making the decision?
• I would let the newborn go. First of all, I don't know the new born and it's not mine. My grandma is mine so I'll save what is mine. You can also have another baby but not another grandma.
• 20. Are you old fashioned?
• Only in my moral values.
• 21. When was the last time you were nice to someone and did NOT expect anything in return for it?
• I always do small things like this so I don't know. It's very recent, I'm sure.
• 22.Which would you choose, true love with a guarantee of a broken heart, or never loved at all? Why?

Broken hearts can heal. Then you'll love again.

• 23.If you could do anything or wish anything, what would it be?
• To forget about her or to be over her completely so that I can move on and not think of her.