I've had the most messed up weekend. I'm too annoyed right now to write about it.
But things are just simply shitty.
I feel like I am so mad and angry at the world and I just want to hate everyone and everything.
I hate the trees that never grows big enough to give us shade here in KL.
I hate the fact that I am alone here and there is simply no one to talk to and the stupid fact that I stick out like a sore thumb is simply revolting.
I hate the fact that I cannot get over you and hearing that you were with that person, makes me hate myself because I know that I can never have you in that way.
I hate the fact that you will never, NEVER know how I feel and that I can never have the chance to be more than friends.
I hate that I fall more and more in love with you whenever I talk to you and as much as I want hate you, you are the only person that makes me feel a little bit better about myself.
I hate it that I am so mad at the world and everyone else in it that I can't do anything about it.
I hate that I hate so much many things right now that nothing can make me feel better.
I hate the fact that I am denying THIS with whatever and everything that I have in me and it's killing me.
I hate the fact that it's not something that I can cure and there's NOTHING I can do about this.
I hate that I can't tell anyone about this and I don't think they'll understand.
I hate the fact that NO ONE knows about this and I just can't.
I hate the fact that I am so mad at myself for being like this.
I am so mad at so many things and I think it is something that I've had compressed for a while and now it's a full blown explosion.
I guess I am mad at myself for the only thing I cannot, will not, and have not talked about with anyone.
I hate being broken and knowing there's nothing that I can do to out myself back together.
I hate myself. So much.
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