I saw her picture today. She was smiling with three of her closest friends. I know a lot about them. She used to tell me stories about them. They walked her through the rites of being a women. She is very fond of them. There were like the Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie that she never imagined having in her life. I hear about their problems, their strengths, their lives. She told me so much about them.
They don't know anything about me though. She never told them about the times we yelled at each other. You know what.. There's no point of me talking about this anymore. I just deleted the messages of her Singapore number. She doesn't care anymore. I deserve to be happy. She's off enjoying her life. I have to force myself to not care about her until I stop.
My body is already humming with pain. Who knows how much more pain this will be or how long this is going to be. Maybe I am meant to be in pain for feeling so much, for loving so much. Maybe this is my punishment. Maybe there is no such thing unconditional love. Maybe I am just paying for whatever that I have done. Pain is my price.
